Happy Birthday, Monica Lewinsky!

It's Monica Lewinsky's birthday!

She turns fifty-two today!

My, how time flies!

It seems like it was only yesterday that she was crawling around the Oval Office in the White House on her hands and knees.

Or maybe I should have said "The Oral Office."

Monica Lewinsky needs no introduction to anyone who followed presidential scandals between the Korean and Russo-Ukraine Wars. 

This rather silly, incredibly stupid college student was a major factor in the sex scandal that led to the impeachment of US President Bill "Horndog" Clinton.

It was only the second time in history, at that time, that a US President had been impeached.

Though it was unsuccessful, that fallout regarding US politics and its place of primacy in the world had become questioned and Horndog himself was mocked on an international scale, especially from the US's own allies.

Let's take a little trip back to Memory Lane.

As I have stated, Monica Lewinsky was an incredibly stupid and silly college girl.

In her early twenties, she embarked on a sexual relationship with a married college professor that went nowhere because he refused to leave his wife for her.

Then, heady with that failure, she somehow became a White House intern, which threw her into proximity of then President Bilbo Clinton, and embarked on a sexual relationship with him.

Monica obviously had a thing for older married men back then.

As for Bilbo, he was no unwilling object of Monica's affections.

He had previously embarked on extra marital affairs while Governor of Arkansas and was in the midst of lawsuits brought about by women who claimed he had sexually abused them during that time.

The Democrats chose to refer to those women as "trailer trash" and sensation seekers.

Monica was at least solidly middle-class, so Bilbo was clearly moving up in his choices!

The American people already knew about these allegations during Bilbo's first successful run for the Presidency in 1992, which were the subject of sever interviews with the news media that he so graciously permitted, which did not hinder his election and re-election.

Nor did his and his wife's insidious involvement in the Whitewater scandal.

Anyway, Bilbo's affair with Monica went on, and Bilbo provided her with mementoes of their association, cheap trinkets that anyone could buy at roadside gas stations while taking a trip, as well as staining a blue dress of hers with his semen during one of their encounters.

I am not sure what happened to the cigars that Bilbo is reported to have used to penetrate her pudendum.

Perhaps he later smoked them in the presence of his wife, the notorious female impersonator Billary Clinton.

Unfortunately, all sordid pleasures must come to an end.

Monica, because of her proximity to Bilbo in the White House, was subpoenaed to testify in the case brought against him by those women from Arkansas who had previously accused him of sexual abuse.

Yep, THAT case was still going on.

Bilbo, in a panic, asked Monica to return the cheap gifts he had given her.

Monica complied, except for the blue dress he had stained with his semen!

Memories!

What is worse, Bilbo asked Monica to lie under oath that they had NOT had a sexual relationship during their association at the White House.

Which she promptly agreed to.

In short, President Bill "Horndog" Clinton suborned Monica's perjury in a court of law.

That was the real crux of the matter, which the Democrats would later never cease to ignore.

Having accomplished that, Bilbo promptly dumped Monica, much to her dismay.

She really believed that Bilbo would divorce his wife for her and poured out her guts on the phone to her supposed friend, Linda Tripp.

Linda Tripp was an aging hag affiliated with the Republican party who lost her cushy appointed job with the federal government and blamed Bilbo for that.

So, when Monica called her at night, crying her eyes out, Linda promptly recorded the calls.

Monica was unaware of that little fact until Linda decided to make the recording public.

With friends like that, you don't need enemies, of which there are plenty in politics, especially in Washington DC.

Faced with the fact that she had perjured herself, and the world knew about it, Monica had to hire expensive lawyers to work out some sort of deal with the investigators of that incident, which caused Bilbo to have a panic attack.

Linda, as her reward for double-crossing Monica and sticking it to Bilbo, got a new wardrobe and makeover, including a facelift, courtesy of the Republican Party.

Bilbo immediately claimed that he did NOT know "that woman" (Monica).

Billary, in support of her man, broadcast that these new allegations were untrue and all this was a Republican witch-hunt against her innocent husband.

Then the subject of the blue dress stained with Bilbo's semen came up.

Famously, Bilbo held up a Bible and stated that he "did not have sex with that woman."

Apparently, the Bible does not regard blow jobs as sex, which the Democrats immediately concurred with regarding the president's sexual preference.

How the cigars fit in canonically is anyone's guess, but I sincerely doubt that any scriptural passages condoned that, either.

Unfortunately, what Monica told Linda about the size and shape of Bilbo's schwanz also became public knowledge, with our European friends asking what five and a half inches translated into centimeters?

Europe uses the metric system.

There were also uproarious questions about the angle of the curvature of Bilbo's schwanz.

Such fun!

Since Bilbo had clearly suborned Monica's perjury, he was impeached by the US Senate.

The impeachment failed only because the Republicans couldn't muster the necessary two-thirds majority to convict and get rid of him.

So, Bilbo stayed until the completion of his second term, an object of mockery to everyone, especially his wife, who now had a license to steal from him for standing by her man!

Monica, now faced with millions of dollars in legal fees and notoriety, graciously accepted a million dollars to be interviewed by television broadcast "journalist" Baba Wawa.

In advertisements leading up to this much anticipated interview, Baba claimed that it would show what a highly intelligent, deeply sensitive young woman Monica was.

It didn't.

It showed Monica to be an incredibly stupid, silly woman with a naiveté that belied her age.

Monica took her money and ran, complaining that Baba's interview didn't portray he truthfully.

Still needing more money to pay off her massive legal bills, Monica embarked on creating a handbag line, which quickly closed up shop and she fled to the United Kingdom to escape her well-deserved notoriety in the US.

There she became the object of interest among lesser celebrities and the lesser nobility, who welcomed her at relatively unimportant public events.

"The like me! They really like me!" she joyfully exclaimed.

That quickly faded when it became obvious that she was merely the latest novelty act and freak show in their bored lives and she promptly disappeared from the world view when it became obvious that she really wasn't all that interesting or important.

Eventually she earned a master's degree in the UK and went on the lower end lecture circuit, attracting no serious interest.

And maybe she even learned to leave married men alone.

So what's the conclusion I can bring this blog to?

Why, the blatant hypocrisy of the Democratic Party.

When big bootie cootie Tish James ran for the office of New York State Attorney General in 2018, she said that she made it her mission to destroy Donald Trump, then 45th President of the United States.

In 2023, when it became clear that he would run for a second. non-consecutive term as president in 2024, she got her chance.

Among other nonsensical charges, given the rank corruption ever so visible in the corrupt Biden regime, she had The Donald charged with paying off aging prostitute and porn star, Stormy Daniels for her silence regarding their sexual relationship in 2016, during his first run for the presidency.

Apparently, she and The Donald had a brief, pay for play fling in the early 2000s.

And yet big back Tish forgot that after the Lewinsky affair, Bilbo paid off the women suing him for sexual misconduct for over $800 grand, in return for dropping their case against him and their silence in the future.

She could just have easily brought Bilbo to court over this matter, since Bilbo and Billary are residents of New York State in Westchester County and therefore are under her jurisdiction.

But she didn't.

Why not?

Because Bilbo is a Democrat and The Donald is a Republican.

That's why.

Don't get me wrong, The Donald is a megalomaniacal and abrasive individual wo wildly gyrating antics have driven everyone to distraction.

But Tish chose to prosecute The Donald only because she knew he would win the presidency against senile horse's ass Joe Biden or braying jackass Kamala Harris.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Monica!

Perhaps we can start a "Go fund Me" account buy you a new blue dress and a box of cigars!