When the Ace Becomes the Joker! The Donald's Underwhelming Visit to China!

Translation: The Donald is saying that he holds all the cards! Hsi replies by saying that the cards were made in China!

And so they were. And are. 

The Donald's recent two-day semi-state trip to China can only be realistically described as underwhelming, disappointing and unsuccessful.

NOT according to The Donald, though.

He originally touted his trip to China as an opportunity to make new trade deals with President Hsi, especially in the areas of agriculture, investment in American industrial redevelopment and the purchase of 500 Boeing jets.

The Donald kept stating that China wanted to "make a deal," and he considers himself to be the master of the deal.

He was about to get his comeuppance.

The Donald also planned to discuss Taiwan and China's relationship to Iran, vis a vis his and Netanyahu's unprovoked attack and ensuing (and continuing) war with that country and its closing of the Strait of Hormuz, through which 20% of the world's oil passes.

Or passed.

Apparently, Hsi never got that memo.

The Donald set out for China accompanied by members of his family and a host of big businessmen and financial advisors.

He might as well have left them at home, because they were unnecessary as it turned out.

The Donald's third wife and "First Lady" also didn't attend for no known reason.

Her place was taken by The Donald's "special assistant," Margo Martin, a woman who has a remarkable resemblance to Melania and can be seen with him whenever Melania can't be bothered to attend to him, which is most of the time.

The Donald once claimed that she is "the most beautiful in the world."

Undoubtedly, she, like Melania, is well paid for her ill-defined services.

The Donald and his entourage arrived to the usual staged festivities reserved for important foreign dignitaries, and his usually coarse, vulgar and insulting commentaries were notably absent this time, because Hsi was too powerful a man to piss off.

He complimented Hsi, calling him a "great guy," praising his rose garden, stating that China was a beautiful country and expressed jealousy of his ballroom.

"China has one, why can't we?"

Hsi smiled inscrutably at The Donald's comments, knowing that he had the upper hand over Trump.

That became clear over the "negotiations."

First, China would buy only 200 Boeing jets, which sent the US stock market in general and Boeing stock in particular tumbling.

The Donald's previous assurances about 500 Boeing jets proved to be, at best, wishful thinking on his part or, more prosaically, just another one of his lies.

Furthermore, there were no discussions about China buying more American agricultural products, which has pissed of American farmers.

Nor was there any discussion about increased Chinese financial investment in American industrial infrastructure, simply because China does not need to.

As for geopolitics, Hsi warned The Donald to keep his nose out of Taiwan, which China considers to be part of their country.

And Iran? Hsi stated that the war should never have started in the first place (a less than subtle slap to the faces of The Donald and Netanyahu) and that the Strait of Hormuz should be reopened.

Never did Hsi state that China would use military means to accomplish that.

In short, it was The Donald's problem. Let him get himself out of it.

And with that, the visit was over.

Just in time.

Hsi invited Russia's Putin for a visit, and he would arrive after The Donald and Company left.

The Donald returned to the US stating that a lot had been accomplished, a lot of deals had been made and that China would assist in reopening the Strait of Hormuz.

The Chinese, however, told a far different story, which revealed that The Donald's visit to China was not successful or beneficial to America, and that the purchase of 200 Boeing aircraft was merely a consolation prize Hsi was gracious enough to grant an increasingly desperate Trump.

Nothing else was accomplished.

The self-appointed "master of the deal" was clearly outmaneuvered by Hsi and in full view of the whole world.

Maybe his "special assistant" will be able to calm him down when he realizes it.